the king is naked !!!

Manohar and Dr Jesus had one thing in common !!!!

Their passion for the latest gizmos and costly apparels, flashy cars and pens to flaunt, and more importantly... air travel...... Dr Joy seemed to be enjoying the flamboyancy which his son and son in law picked up as the family got richer and richer, year after year with MBA aspirants flocking with bags of money...... The father had pride written all over his face when ever some one( rarely though) praised him about his egotic son and his erronous son in law....he knew that they were bad and had a fear in his mind as to what will happen when his days are over...Their quarrels and mutual apathy gave him sleepless nights and peace of mind simply eluded him ,no matter how much money he had in his coffers and how many cars he had in his garrage....

It was such a day when Dr Jesus was away on a trip to Mumbai ( Bombay) for ...well... why and for what, no one knew, for Dr Jesus or natvardhan as the kids called him was the crown prince and no one dared to ask him where he is flying to...well coming back... Dr Jesus was away and Prof Ram had made a detailed letter as to how to change and make GIM a respectable place,called madam secretary from his intercom to fix an appointment with the Director .......

But sir Dr Jesus is not in town.... said the proud lady..... he is not expected to be in for another three four days...

Oh ..where is he then ....asked Prof Ram...

Ha... a supercilious gasp was the reply... I am sorry sir, I cannot tell that to you...

Prof Ram turned to Sukesh menon and said while he banged the receiver back to the cradle...

This is a funny place the director is out and even that is a secret... I guess I would be metting Dr Joy and giving him the letter which I have written...

Sir there are things which we cant change...it is their place... argued Sukesh.... either be with them or go away..there is not a third choice...

You are talking like George bush.. ridiculed Prof Ram... it is not THEIR place... it is OUR place... employees should feel that it is their place, then only organisationas would excel... what you told me now is an indication..you feel that it is their place and you have no role in building GIM...

Sukesh sat there staring at the old mans face.. for him what the grand old man of GIM was saying was sense but again from his angle Prof Ram could say it.... others could not...

Your job is not just teaching and taking home the salary check which Joy or Jesus signs at the end of every month.. you in a process of making future managers... in a way making talents... moulding the nation...

And when they treat you like a whore...? joined the outspoken Professor Anand shankar, presumabily unable to resist the temptation to join, sitting in the cabin nest to Prof Ram...

We teach management... but dont practice it and that is the content of this letter ...said Prof Ram as he threw a bunch of papers into the table...

Prof Anand shankar stroke his grey hairs, and smiled as he read the long letter, while Sukesh felt uncomfortable at the whole episode.... yes... he would want GIM to change.... realise that change is an inevitable reality.... and he would be happy at such change, but would be happier if he could retain his JOB....

Wonderful ....said Prof Anand ,with admiration.....how I hope that they open their eyes....

Prof Ram smiled.... I will tell them... i will tell the king that he is nude and he really looks ugly.... some one will have to tell... when the young refuses to go for war the old have to...

Getting the hint that Prof Ram is digging at him and his age group in GIM, Sukesh stood up......

You can Sir....for me my life is only begining... I cannot simply stand in the street....

Prof Anand Interfered... hey Sukesh.... cool man.. you call it life..? at your age you should be at a place where they respect your intellect..... not where they suck your blood and pretend to be ignorant of it...

I am not going to be here.... said Sukesh and walked away to his cabin visibly upset of the development and afraid of the news ,that spies are going to carry to the HQ, with addition and substraction, with spices added...

When Prof Ram walked into the palatial comforts of Dr Joys seven star cabin, there was a guest sitting opposite to Dr Joy. It was not expected, and worse he expected the king to be alone to facilitate a discussion. Stuck for a moment as to what to do, Prof Ram took the seat which was offered to him.

Meet Prof Ram... Dr Joy introduced him to the guest... he teaches strategy and is a renowned expert.... in fact the the back bone of intellect in GIM....

Dr Ram smiled at the praise, knowing very well that it was Diplomacy- Joy style...

And he is Sam Harris... an NRI... Dr Joy introduced the guest to Prof Ram.... we are planning of starting a joint business....fish culture and export...

Prof Ram was awestruck... even the vivacious him couldnt speak ...The strategy that he taught wouldnt agree to this "diversifications plans " of the boss....his brain stopped thinking and as he handed over the envelope with the letter told Dr Joy in a faint mutter....

Please give a reply.... I think I have written down something very important...

When he was gone, Dr Joy opened the letter ,read that for a minute and with contempt threw it into the dust bin...

what is that... asked the curious NRI...

He wants to tell me that he is unhappy and I should do something to make him happy... laughed Dr Joy...

Like...?

Give him a raise and he will shut his mouth for while ,then again a letter.....Grumbled the king... Teaching me... huh...?

guinea pigs wanted !!!

Srilaxmi resigned after a month of ordeal for her of course for the students whom she was supposed to teach. She fainted once after the class and yet VC gave her boost of confidence that she can do it...Teach MBA students, a practical subject which normally requires years of practice to master or atleast some research expertise for some one to talk on the subject with authenticity.

She surrendered to the sense of shame that engulfed her after every class which was added to her agony... Her beauty didnt compensate the shortcoming of her brains neither did her linguistic skills cover up the lack of practical exposure...

It was a great escape for Srilaxmi- the damsel in distress....
A big blow to VC for once his theory bombed on his face with a stink...
A relief for the students ,who had to teach the teacher who stood in their front ,readingfrom the text book as would a nursery teacher do with the kids who mule and puke in between.....

What next? who will take over?..... the question loomed over the Marketing class as did it over Dr Joseph -the EDs table...

Im fed up with this ..... lamented the ED....I am doing a magicians job here with no one to teach and....

well I guess you have to do it and only you can.. said Prof Ismail khan the Dean who kept his diplomatic machine always polished ensuring his survival...

Classes are already in trouble... Dr Subhajit is making a royal mess and now this... Jesus my lord.... cried ED

You are right ...laughed the Dean ...only Jesus can save..not the real one... the one here... our lord and saviour......

Ha...... scorned the ED.....he ill say the same thing... new ads are released.. new people are joining... we will be flooded with intellect...ha...

The evangelist that he is.. he is good in selling pain... drawing beautiful pictures out of blood even....said the Dean with a smile...

Still I think what you seem to think is true ......he is the only option...confessed ED ....and anyways i am meeting him this afternoon... I guess if you can join me we can jointly put it forward...

Oh would love to but I am on leave this afternoon....said the Dean with a regret appearing on his face but a smile hiding behind it......he knew that it was a trap and he also knew to keep himself safe ,to keep away from it.... after all he has survived the darkness and deluge of GIM for Ten long years now...

Dr Jesus was not available that afternoon and Dr Joseph wandered here and there, in search of the man whom the kids nick named as Samrat Natvardhan... Nuts that he is ..he suddenly dissappeared and suddenly came back.. would never tell it to his sub ordinates , and superiors... no one of that category existed in GIM.... And when he left things accumulated ,meetings, decisions, files, even petty and paltry things like timetable revisions were put on hold...he enjoyed it with a sadistic pleasure.... it was his way of telling every one that he is the boss, but the more he did it ,the more looked like and ass...

Prof Ram seemed to be the only option before Dr Joseph , to hand over the subject that Srilaxmi left in the middle like an orphan...

No way.... Prof Ram as usual didnt mince words... im already fully loaded and not one more subject...

But there is no one else who can take it over at this critical juncture... almost cried ED... you have to Prof Ram..

That is not my headache ....thundered Prof Ram... when you recruit faculty you should recruit based on what we need , not on what is available cheap and in bulk...

Now that should not be told to me...stood up DrJoseph , visibly angry at the sudden development,and the anxious faces that gathered around.....you should be telling the VC and the top management....

I would sir.... no doubt... I call a spade a spade and now im telling you since you called me..I will tell him if he does.. have no doubt...Prof ram retorted

I dont want to talk to you.... go to hell .... Dr Joseph couldnt control his emotion as he fell back into his chair...

Prof Ram smiled with sarcasm....

As he walked out of the ED s room he said.... go to hell? ha.. I thought I was already in one...

the waiting list !!

It is an annual fanfare in GIM...

the long admission process... Dr Jesus and his office takes care of the advertising in all natioanl newspapers about GIM ( with the large campus and the building projected, with AC and the gardens as the selling point, keeping in mind the publicity rule that " allways your postives should be touted about"....), to the applications that they receive ( thousands of them, for all the negatives, GIM had a name of its own partly due to the huge campus that Dr Joy had the common sense to build and partly due to its Teachers, again Dr Joy was good in identifying them..)....

This year the mandate fell of Anna xavier as her husband was "heavily loaded" with the other works that he was doing..... Every one knew that the equations were changing and the father was told by every other person that it was difficult to attract good students with Dr Jesus at the helm of affairs of the admission process. His haphazard and abrupt decisions make the process go haywire every time and the list of selected would be disappointing at the end of the whole process.. every year, inspite of the thousands of applications that pour in, a large section of the selected lot wouldnt fit into a decent B School canvas, which GIM was claiming to be....

Prof Ram..... called Dr Joseph, the ED coming out of his chamber to the large common area in the faculty room...

He is not here sir... replied Sukesh menon, who sat as Prof Rams neighbour... I think he is in the library ( Prof Ram went to the library once in a day, most others didnt even know that GIM had one..)

Then you may have to go with Prof Anand shankar... for the GD first round..the prospective students are waiting..

My goodness..... lamented Sukesh menon.... I have scheduled a case discussion in my next class, just two hours from now... thought of getting into a bit more...

Oh that shoudnt be a problem sukesh...said ED,....this will take only one hour...

But sir...

Well, then tell me what shall I do.. Prof Anandalakshmi has gone on leave...Sri laxmi I guess is resigning... shall I go and tell the HQ...?

That was the trick and it was done... Sukesh menon and Anand shankar went for the first round of the group discussion , which was the first round of the selection process to get into the coveted post graduate programme in management from Gods Institute of Management.... Young and anxious faces waited, mulled, discussed and debated, as the two professors sat watching the show and as their parents languished outside the building, in the sprawling lawns and gardens with hopes written all over their faces..... Most of prospects as they debated showed that they have got trained by professional schools as was discernible in their mannerisms and lingua, often artificial and synthetic ,very prominently displayed to the extent of causing irritation to a neutral observer.....

I will say that number 5 and 6 are the only ones who can go in ..all others can go back home... said Prof Anand shankar after the melee in which the kids debated over " whether democracy was good or bad for India" was over...

But sir out of 10 shouldnt we atleast recommend half of them....?..... asked Sukesh unable to digest what Anand shankar said....

why should we let all the scum in..? Is it not enough what we already have here?.. Anand as usual did not mince words......

Those who made it into the second round went for an interview where VC presided normally and ED was called in and sometimes one of the Directors and the Dean. A typical interview was simple and straight forward and not a messy affair....

Have you bought the Demand Draft drawn in favour of GIM? .....asked the VC..

No sir... but I didnt know that I will get selected.. so.. If I get I thought I will...

Who said you are getting selected... You will be selected only when you have the DD ready in your hand.... flashed a smile, the grand old man who had seen it all.

The candidate sat sad, and miserable at this apparent miss between the cup and the sip...

Dont worry....... said VC as the ED shook his head in total agreement....We will put you in waiting list, you will come with the DD before 4 Pm tomorrow and join or you shall never...
but you shall not tell this to any one... mmmm...

The candidate rushed outside blushing in glee, little knowing that this is what they told everyone and the waitlist in GIM was usually bigger than the actual selected list...

The next candidate walked in....
*************************************************

Teach the teacher !!!

Dr Joy was a far sighted man but off late he has developed a short sightedness which was a school kids domain and unlikely to happen with an adult. Prof Ram called it a family myopia,sardonically of course but accurate when considering his love for his family which almost made him blind.........His son and his son in law were in logger heads already and both very rarely even talked to each other.........

Adding to the confusion was Dr Joys daughter in law, Dr Jesus's wife ,the very respected Anna Xavier whom the GIM world considered as a Beauty with brains, a rare combination in the GIM family. Anna was a Mumbaite ,Catholic and well educated with tremendous work experience and probably hence possessed well admired public relations and human management skills ( which all others seem to lack in a stricking common feature). She was sweet to the core, listened to people and offered solutions and solace. She had only one thing in common with her husband Jesus and that was their love for the church and evangelism. Anna left with her family, the trappings of the catholic church to be " born again" and met Dr Jesus somewhere in the loud world of the new borns.....the rest is history.......

Anna, finally , after 'a lot of persuation', as per an official note circulated by Dr Joy, 'agreed 'to join the GIM as an administrator of academic affairs. Dr Joy wanted her to come in to the GIM family and provide some fresh blood into it ,a good intention of course to cleanse the system which was riddled by cliques and clashes, classes and chaos and confusion from head to top....and so here she is, in a role again which no one knew what she will be doing there.....

********************************************************
Sri laxmi walked into the class with slow dragging steps, like a thief would do in the middle of the night...The large place threatened her.... a topper in her MBA which she passed just an year back, she always wanted to be teaching in a business school, neither for the admiration for the profession nor for the ardor to contribute to the development of it, but simply because her tradition bound parents wouldnot allow her to work otherwise.

She send an application with a one page CV attached, when GIM had called last time for faculty recruitments( another regular drama that GIM undertook, foolish for others but a smart way of advertising as per Dr Joy), the VC called her for interview and because she looked good and could speak english, was appointed as a faculty in the Marekting area of GIM....

The charectors in the faculty office tried their level best to make her uncomfortable, as they did with every new entrant.....
telling her spiced tales of how the ever-over expecting crowd,whom they call 'students', in GIM would behave with you......
how this piece of paper which the student gets to fill at the end of every course, which they call 'faculty feed back' would behead you....
how thankless the deadly devils, whom everyone called 'the management' would suck your blood out and leave you empty and alone...

She was terrified and the prospect of walking into a class which is a semi theatre with almost 100 young boys and girls sitting there with scepticism freely circulated along with the cold air from the Air Conditioners......

The moment she introduced herself and the course which she was to 'teach them', hands went up in the air.....

Mam do you have experience in sales..?

Mam you are just one year senior to us, how can you tach us the complexities of sales as a subject and practise..?

Mam.. Mam.

Mam do you...

how?

what?

Mam...

It was a semi dark room, and even other wise she wouldnt be able to see anything.......

She wanted to tell them that the VC of GIM has prejudiced her that as long as she is beautiful (which she is) and she has the command over the language, she could teach anything.....

She ,but didnt want to tell them that for her this was a stop gap arrangement, when someone comes asking for her hand in marriage, this job will make her more saleable....

the balance sheet..!!!

Sri laxmi, a newly appointed lecturer in the area of Marketing was at GIM that day and after joining, Dr Joseph told her that she would be lead into the class by Prof Anandalaksmi or AM as she was called ,in her capacity as the chairperson-Marketing area and be introduced to second year students.

I dont think she has that kind of confidence...AM confided with Dr Joseph as she sat in his chamber waiting for the bell to go on air, after which she could take the new damsel to start her life with the knowledge hungry crowd of the second year of MBA at GIM.

Even I dont...... told Dr Joseph in a hushed tone... but then it is VC's appointment and as usual even I had no say in the whole thing.... I was only told this morning....

ooh.... AM sat with an open mouth, as if it was through there that the news was going in...

And you know what......Dr Joseph was more than happy to feed her with more information...... Another four more are joining to 'boost the intellectual capital' as per VC but in fact to compensate the numbers which we have lost in the last two months.......

Ohh..numbers is a problem is it...? I thought with everyone in the HQ from Dr Joy in the list of Faculty send to AICTE, we were on the comfortable side.... whispered AM...

hahahahahaha....Dr Joseph laughed, in a way which was entirely his own and even the best student mimic of GIM could never copy it, with full perfection....

Sirrrrr.... came and called Jansi william,the faculty office secretary...

Yes please......said Dr Joseph, visibly unhappy for the abrupt end that he had to put to his syrupy chat with the gossipy lady ..

The bell will not work..there seems to be some problem ....so if...... said Jansi in her usual curtailed style of speech......

***********************************************************
The students of the Finance specialisation had a very peculiar problem.....

None of their faculty was permanant, mostly drawn for various companies locally and hence when others were in classes they dragged on in the awful canteen or in the students area and when others went back to hostels or with their girl/boy friends for some outing, they sat in classes pretending to be in love with all the jargons and high funda that flew left and right their heads but never into it...

And those faculty who joined as full timers either didnt knew what it meant when they joined and ran away in between( when they realised it) leaving their jobs ,leaving behind more names in the long list of faculty who quit GIM or simply continued defying all notions of student likeabilty being directly proportional to a faculty's survival and existence........

The game went on and so did Dr Subhajit Agarwal ,who was with GIM for the past 7 months much to the chagrin of the 'being taught' students of the Finance stream and to the delight of the Management for having employed some one who had the right people in Delhi .....

For the students he was a tragedy, they simply couldnt understand what he was talking about, not the hard finance, but the simple english....

For the faculty colleagues of his he was a comedy, they wanted some one to laugh at and about, and to proove their point that the HQ (of late) recruited with intentions other than teaching ability in mind....

For the business of business education he was a disgrace , for someone who has written 23 cases and published many a research papers, would look like an asset in paper but in practice he was an NPA... a non performing asset who soon ,for GIM was becoming a liability....

The Kids play...

The man was tall, cool and handsome. He almost walked like a model into the long corridors of GIM ,confidently into the HQ where the top brass lived.

Madam secretary was not on her seat when he arrived at the HQ reception. He waited for a while and then took his mobile phone out and rang up some one....

Mr Manohar.... he smiled and smoothly whispered, as if to his girls ears.... I am Valmiki Gupta from Mumbai, hope Mr Sharma of AICTE has spoken to you about me.....

Silence....

Yes I am outside the HQ ,but very well inside GIM, lost in the spectacle... continued Gupta...

A glass door opened and came out Mr Manohar, who was the Director of GIM ,not in charge of academics, which Dr Jesus took care of , but in charge of quality assurance and overseas relations. Manohar ,was the son in law of Dr Joy, his only daughter Sulatha's husband, whom she wed after a embattled love life which her father and brother opposed to. Manohar was Hindu, who was a blot in the evangelist family who could convince many others to adopt the way of the cross but their own son in law. Manohar and his wife lived in the US for sometime where he ran his own software firm which became big and big and burst one day in the bubble burst. His love for his daughter made Dr Joy carve an office for his son in law, out of nothing and from nowhere....and make him seated in the same HQ where he sat with his son in the cabin adjacent and VC next to it...

Yes Mr Gupta..... welcome welcome...thundered Manohar as he walked out of his office with arms thrown open to receive the seemingly elite guest.

After the exchange of pleasantaries they sat in Manohars plush office, every corner of which vied for attention.

I should tell you that you have a beautiful campus and a very charming office... said Gupta

Manohar flashed a smile, a classic of his, disarming and captivating, which probably clean swept Sulatha's heart and made the rise of the son in law to the nucleus of the GIM empire...

That is what everyone says....blushed Manohar.... and the credit goes to the visionary Dr Joy who happens to be my Father In Law.....

Oh ! I did not know that.... laughed Gupta and Manohar returned it with a you- better -know- it- you- ass smile....

Chalo let us get to business ..said Gupta... Now shall I proceed into my assignment?

I wish you a happy week ahead and hope that after your training our students and their soft skills will get polished up... said Manohar as he stood up to bid farewell...

Wouldnt you be checking my credentials?.... asked Gupta

Mr Sharma says and that is the best credential as far as GIM is concerned......smiled Manohar, this time business man like, adopting it fully from his father in law....... You can meet Dr Joseph our executive director in the second floor, who will let you know the plans for the week.

As Valmiki Gupta walked out, Manohar picked up the intercom and hastilly dialled Dr Joseph and told him that the guest is coming , dialled another number,held for a while and then kept the receiver impatiently back to the cradle. He took a piece of paper and wrote....

Daddy,

Valmiki gupta is here and I have decided to use him as the soft skills trainer for the next one week. Dr Joseph is being asked to take care of. I would be happy if you can ask Jesus to keep away from this....

Manohar

****************************************************
Dr Joseph was glued to the telephone when the guest walked in with firm steps, a lavish smile and an extended hand of friendship.

Yes sir.. will do sir.. no sir.... ok sir.... he kept on saying mechanically and kept the phone....

You look pale and shocked... said Gupta.... did I walk in at the wrong time?

well no... said Dr Joseph...... absolutely not.....but I am afraid you may have to go to the guest house now... and let us begin fresh tomorrow morning...

Cool with me ....said Gupta.... and in any case im here direct from the airport.. would like to have some rest...

As Gupta was packed off,Dr Joseph ran to the VC's office.......

You will have to help me sir..... he lamented as he almost fell into a chair......There is a man who have come from Delhi on Mr Manohars invitation and we are putting him as a soft skills trainer....

mmmm....mumbled VC....

Sharma of AICTE has recommended him and you know Sharma....continued Dr Joseph......that is why Manohar wants...

And Jesus has told you that Gupta cannot and willnot train the students here.. right?......asked VC...

Dr Joseph smiled in astonishment, for a second, and then out a releif over the realisation that this man who knew the GIM family better than he knew his own, could solve this puzzle as well....

Half the time he spend unravelling such quagmires......

Rest half he spend crafting new problems as a raison d'être to his existence.......

Blame me..blame you...

The students of the second year of Master of Business Administration at GIM batch after batch had one feature which was carried down as if through some inherited gene, with amazing precision... they all become lack lusture, lifeless and lethargic..... life suddenly for them, they seemed to start beleiving that ,is over or almost near to it.... studies become a mere ritual and so is other facets of life....

It was clearly not the pressures of management education that was the cause of this disease , for even in the first year they have the pressure and they enjoy it....it was not the work load that came in the shape of cases and assignements, work books and log tables, balance sheets and brand report cards, for by second year they should be feeling comfortable with all that and not in the contrary.....

Not that any one in GIM was unduely perturbed over the glitch but that it was a reason why come December and before a new year dawns the fault finding mission started was of worry to atleast some .....

who is to blame for the issue which year after year looked impenetrable...?

A typical fault finding meeting starts like this....

Now again it is seen that the recruiters are of the opinion that students lack in general awareness, soft skills, and even grooming... said Dr Joy from his raised pedestal in the meeting room.

VC and ED sitting left and right as would the proverbial three monkeys ,shook their heads in complete agreement......

I should say...Prof Ram mumbled ...that the onus is on the faculty, who somehow somewhere is failing in their duties....

I should say...Said Dr Joy.... that the faculty should take he responsibility for this failure that they are facing...

Oh he changed the sentence....smiled Sukesh

But the idea remains the same... quiped Anand shankar

As a matter of fact we are planning certain changes in the way the faculty evaluation would hereafter be taking place.....went on the king

Evaluation...My goodness.. I never knew that they are doing anything of that name... commented Anand shankar

Students selection is the root cause and we dont need to do any research to know it...stood up Prof Ram, the outspoken... it is simple,we are trying to build palaces on pigwaste...

There was a stunned silence in the room.... It was this man who allways called the spade a spade, when others sat silently and even worse, nodding heads as the famous dolls of Tanjore would do.

Anand Shankar took it from there.... I have seen many girls and boys whom the first round panel have rejected, later sitting in the class... is it not a mockery..? before the faculty gets to teach them arent they given a message there that if you have the cheque ready we have the seat vacant for you?

But it is all happening everywhere ....stood up VC ,the chanakya..... how can we only be different and in any case the talent of faculty lies not in making the best the best again but the bad the best....do you agree?

That was one of his aces, Subramaniam potti , the shrewd brahmin,knew that he will get some ye ye from the crowd and the division would be done...

Ditto it happened and heated debate followed after which there was more disagreement than agreement and the only agreement was that this was the 'classical chicken or the egg'question...

Dr Joy continued his monologue and at the end established that what he said was right and others (those who disagree) could search for other options.....

In a way that was entirely his own,he said.... Im a democratic leader...I believe in discussion....debates...disagreement..but then it is my baby and I have a dream for it... either you are with me in this journey or you are not....

It clearly was a ploy and this meeting was just a farce like many other meetings....

My mind says that something more is yet to come.. this is just test marketing... said Sukesh menon to Anand shankar making sure that the top brass have left..

Let them yaaarr...no prostitute can go on giving chastity speech like this... retorted Anand shankar ... one day this man will stand exposed.thread bare.....